She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
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What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
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Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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