Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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