Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
