did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
