sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
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