listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
True strength comes from lack of pants
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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