I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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