Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i barfeds in our rink
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
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I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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