he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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