Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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