Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
