I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
