1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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