there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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