We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize