I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
worst night to have a conscience
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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