I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
