mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
