so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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