Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
