How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize