I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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