love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
