He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
