Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
