never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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