Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
