I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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