i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
