You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
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His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
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Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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