Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
