Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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