I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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