Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
