Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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