He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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