we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
