you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I am available for nakedness
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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