You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
