remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
