we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
