You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
