Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
