Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
