Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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