Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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