you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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