Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
im on a boat
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