I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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