plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
