do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
