so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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