You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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