2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
