From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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