today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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