You work out of a Hotel?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
